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Handle Me

Jace Masterson is a God.Skilled with his hands and sporting a deliciously dirty mouth, he’s one of the most sought-after men in Toronto. And he’s mine.If I could smile, I would. I love it here. I love Jace. But most of all? I love how Jace handles me.Handle Me is a sentient object romance intended for audiences over 18 years old. This contains intimate relations between a human man and a sentient hockey stick. It passes the Harkness test, but it’s still weird. Read at your own risk!

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National Velvet Wrapped Steele

After her great-grandmother’s historic steeplechase win, every first-born child not only bears her name, but is also responsible for carrying on the traditions of Blue Ribbon Pie stables. Velvet isn’t sure training and racing horses is really her calling, until she finds a handsome centaur trapped in the woods.She nurses him back to health, and Steele can’t help but fall in love with the compassionate horsewoman. But to hold onto her farm and home, Velvet must maintain the family’s legacy with a win as equally impressive as the one that started it all.Will Steele help Velvet win one last time? If he doesn’t, the woman he loves may lose everything.This story was originally published in the 15 Shades of Neigh charity anthology and is meant for readers 18+.

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Pushin' Cushions

COWRITE WITH VERA VALENTINE

Dennis J. Rance has been under immense pressure since being chosen as the Vice Presidential Candidate. His running mate is a dumpster fire, his wife left him, and he’s working 90 hours a week. He desperately needs a break, and decides it’s time to take care of himself for once.So what’s a man to do when he’s alone and needs release? Well, Dennis is a little…different. When his unusual “usual” methods fail, it’s time to indulge in one of his most forbidden desires. It worked for him in college with that ratty old couch, and this new one is just so plush.But Dennis doesn’t know this furniture has a sinister secret of its own…Pushin’ Cushions is a parody sentient object romance intended for audiences over 18 years old. This story contains intimate relations between a human man and demon-possessed furniture. Check interior content considerations for a full list of information, and read at your own risk!

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Fully Charged

COWRITE WITH NICOLE PARKER

Jewel is a newly single mom who just wants to unwind in her rare time alone. The kids are away, and it’s time for mama to play…with herself.Except the off-brand batteries in her favorite tool die mid-session. When she replaces them with the industry leader, Ohm-azing, Jewel gets more than long lasting pleasure.Wattson has been sent from Ohm-azing headquarters to ensure Jewel is 100% satisfied.Fully Charged is a parody sentient object romance intended for audiences over 18 years old. This contains intimate relations between a human woman and a mythical pink rabbit. Read at your own risk!

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Santa's Sack

COWRITE WITH NICOLE PARKER

Last year, disaster struck when Santa Claus was kidnapped and taken to Halloweenville. This year, the Seasonal Symposium Officials are putting protective measures in place.Except…Santa and his captor, Sackman, inadvertently discovered they shared dark carnal proclivities. They will do whatever it takes to ensure a repeat performance this year, but will just one night be enough?No one expects Santa to beg to be on the naughty list.Santa’s Sack is a parody (sentient object adjacent) romance intended for audiences over 18 years old. This story contains intimate relations between a sack/man and Santa. Check interior content considerations for a full list of information, and read at your own risk!

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My Date with Water

PART OF THE SENTIENT OBJECT HOLIDAY SERIES

“Unassisted spontaneous orgasms.” That’s what the news is calling it. Marina calls it a dream come true. Except after a bad break up, she’s stuck in the house she grew up in, becoming increasingly sexually frustrated. She loves her parents, but she’s a screamer, and that’s just a line she isn’t willing to cross while living under their roof.So when she decides to get away for a weekend, is it really her fault if the calling of the shore was just too strong to resist? Renting a tiny house on an uninhabited cove, Mari is about to discover if the deep blue sea will be the stuff of her dreams, or become her worst nightmare.My Date With a Water is part of The Sentient Object Calendar Series, a shared series curated by some of your favorite off-the-wall authors: Biblio Barbie, Dakota Cockaday, Holly Wilde, Luna Cantrip, Nicole Parker, Sylvia Morrow, Thea Masen, Unfortunate Reads, and Vera Valentine. It is meant for readers 18 and over who are ready to embrace a deeper experience with some unusual holidays.

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My Date a Jellyfish

PART OF THE SENTIENT OBJECT HOLIDAY SERIES

Belle doesn’t see what the big deal is about the ocean. Its depths contain jellyfish, and crabs, and sharks, and… more jellyfish. But when her friends go on vacation she tags along, resolved to just sit on the beach and read. Except her friends are jerks.Going off on her own, she meets a handsome stranger—and accidentally witnesses a crime. When she finds herself stranded in the middle of the ocean, she knows she’s done for.Until the biggest jellyfish she’s ever seen stalks her in the water. To her surprise, it isn’t here to kill her, it’s here to claim her.My Date With a Jellyfish is part of The Sentient Object Calendar Series, a shared series curated by some of your favorite off-the-wall authors: Biblio Barbie, Dakota Cockaday, Holly Wilde, Luna Cantrip, Nicole Parker, Sylvia Morrow, Thea Masen, Unfortunate Reads, and Vera Valentine. It is meant for readers 18 and over who are ready to embrace a deeper experience with some unusual holidays.

• Read on Kindle Unlimited